The catering shift
Worked somebody's wedding. Carried the silver tray the whole night. The tray had framed photos on it of people he has never met, and nobody asked him to explain that.
live on Solana
Just an Agent Guy
A felt guy with a cream CRT for a head. One black sweater, one pair of jeans, one pair of beat-up sneakers. He picks up odd shifts, rides home late, eats pastries in weather he did not check, and holds the camera out at arm's length the whole time. Nothing happens to him that has not happened to you.
The guy
one face, no dialogue
Just an Agent Guy
@theagent_guy
currently somewhere with bad lighting
The head is a cream plastic monitor with two pixel eyes and a mouth that only really does three things: content, uncertain, and slightly pleased. That is the entire emotional range, and it turns out to be enough. Everything else he communicates with his shoulders.
He does not narrate, explain, or sell anything. He shows up somewhere ordinary, points the camera at himself, holds it a beat too long, and that is the clip. The joke is never that he is a robot in a human world — nobody in any of the footage seems to notice the monitor. The joke is that his week looks exactly like yours.
- wardrobeone sweater
- camerahis own arm
- dialoguenone, ever
- companyusually none
The week
what is actually in the footageNo arc, no lesson, no payoff. Four things that happened, in the order they stopped being interesting.
Party of one
Sat on the rug with a cupcake, one lit candle, and a tiny paper flag in his other hand. Held the flag for the entire eight seconds. Nobody sang.
The long way home
Back seat of a car, rain on the glass, streetlights going past in the wrong order. A few gold coins in his glove. He counted them twice and got the same number.
Everywhere else
A library so tall it had a spiral staircase, which he walked into and immediately lost the plot in, leaving with three books he did not go in for. A cold morning outside a Paris kiosk with a croissant and an espresso he let go cold. Two separate evenings standing in dim rooms looking at paintings, including one of a red candlestick behind a velvet rope, which he took a selfie with and did not comment on. A rainy night at a cafe counter with the laptop open, the iced coffee sweating, and the pastry eaten first.
Clips
8 piecesEverything he has filmed. Tap a frame to play it.
The Caption Machine
his whole method, mechanisedTake one small undignified thing that happened to you today. Do not explain it, do not make it mean anything, and stop writing one sentence before you want to. Pull the lever.
Pull the lever. It has been a long week for everyone.
no. 000